It is said that there is no greater evil than hatred and no greater virtue than patience. While a single moment of anger destroys countless aeons of merits and leads to unmitigated suffering in the hell realms, patience towards those who harm you and the sincere wish to bring them happiness will bring you swiftly onto the path taken by all the Buddhas.
There is no better way to deal with enemies than to feel great love for them, realizing that in former lives they have been your loving parents. There is no better way to nurture your family and look after others than to practice the Dharma and dedicate to all beings the merit you thereby obtain. There is no better or more bountiful harvest than the one you sow in the soil of your faith and endeavor so that it ripens into the richness of merit and wisdom.
– Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
from the book “The Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones”
“Understanding and Love are not two separate things, but only one. To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all living beings with the eyes of compassion.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. Speak or act with an impure mind and trouble will follow you, as the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.
Speak or act with a pure mind and happiness will follow you as your shadow, unshakable.“Look how he abused me and hurt me, how he threw me down and robbed me.” Live with such thoughts and you live in hate. Abandon such thoughts, and live in love.
In this world hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible.
~ Buddha ~
In ordinary life, we are under the power of disturbing emotions such as self-importance, anger, and desire. We have no control over these emotions, so they torment us and we suffer. We are their slaves, which is unpleasant. The purpose of the Dharma is to reverse that situation and to help us master the disturbing emotions – self-cherishing, pride, desire, anger and hatred – that enslave us. Being a master is much better than being a slave. Do not lose sight of this essential point: The aim of the Dharma is to get rid of disturbing emotions, and this is the only way to attain true happiness.
~ Shechen Rabjam Rinpoche
Source: Eternal Law | Great Middle Way
July 24, 2017
“He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me.”
Those who do not harbor such thoughts still their hatred.
Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world.
By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.
There are those who do not realize that one day we all must die.
But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.
—Buddha Shakyamuni, Udanavarga
Source: A Zen master says this is the most effective way to respond to haters – Ideapod blog
May 18, 2017
If you’ve spent any time on the Internet, you’ve probably encountered a hater or two. Trolls are everywhere it seems.
But what’s the best way to respond them?
Seung Sahn Soen-sa, a Korean-born Zen Master, encountered a some harsh language directed towards him in 1975.
Seung Sahn Soen-sa’s book “Dropping Ashes on the Buddha: The Teachings of Zen Master Seung Sahn Soen-sa” contained many illuminating and sympathetic letters. The letters were his remarkable response to – what in modern times can be called – hate mail.
It’s a known fact that the act of hate reflect the actions of the hater and not their victim. This cynical urge to force our inner pain to take a form of aggression attracts absurd targets. And one of them was Seung Sahn Soen-sa.
Here is the first letter from the student in regards to not understanding the “don’t know mind”:
“Please answer me soon, but you probably won’t, huh? Anyway, I’d like to tell you to go fuck yourself.
Respectfully, and hope to see you soon,
“You say that you are confused. If you keep a complete don’t-know mind, how can confusion appear? Complete don’t-know mind means cutting off all thinking. Cutting off all thinking means true emptiness. In true emptiness, there is no I to be confused and nothing to be confused about.
A kong-an is like a finger pointing at the moon. If you are attached to the finger, you don’t understand the direction, so you cannot see the moon. If you are not attached to any kong-an, then you will understand the direction. The direction is the complete don’t-know mind.
You must keep only don’t-know, always and everywhere. Then you will soon get enlightenment. But be very careful not to want enlightenment. Only keep don’t-know mind. Your situation, your condition, your opinions — throw them all away.
At the end of your letter you say, “Go fuck yourself.” These are wonderful words that you have given me, and I thank you very much. If you attain enlightenment, I will give them back to you.
So, what’s the lesson from this?
Don’t feed the haters by responding back with more anger. Instead, respond with guidance, empathy and warm wit. According to Thich Nhat Hanh:
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”
This is similar to the advice offered from a Zen master on dealing with toxic people:
“The deeper your present moment peace gets, the easier it’ll be to react non- passionately when confronted with hostility. As this gets better, you can begin to realize more deeply just how much someone has to be suffering internally in order to have such harsh reactions. With enough insight, you can develop your empathy and compassion based off this knowledge and these also help you remain even more peaceful in the present moment.
Eventually, with enough compassion and insight on your side, you can begin to extinguish the fires of hostility by extinguishing anger with patience and understanding… It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they continue treating you well. In helping them relieve these feelings, you not only help them but you also help yourself, since you no longer have to deal with them as they were.”