A monk decided to meditate alone, away from his monastery. He took his boat out to the middle of the lake, moored it there, closed his eyes and began meditating. After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly felt the bump of another boat colliding with his own.
With his eyes still closed, he felt his anger rising, and by the time he opened his eyes, he was ready to scream at the boatman who had so carelessly disturbed his meditation. But when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find that it was an empty boat that had struck his own. It had probably gotten untethered and floated to the middle of the lake.
At that moment, the monk had a great realization. He understood that the anger was within him; it merely needed the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him. From then on, whenever he came across someone who irritated him or provoked him to anger, he would remind himself, that the other person was merely an empty boat, the anger was within him.
“A woman wanted to know how to deal with anger. I asked when anger arose whose anger it was. She said it was hers. Well, if it really was her anger, then she should be able to tell it to go away, shouldn’t she? But it really isn’t hers to command. Holding on to anger as a personal possession will cause suffering. If anger really belonged to us, it would have to obey us. If it doesn’t obey us, that means it’s only a deception. Don’t fall for it.”
“Whenever the mind is happy or sad, don’t fall for it. It’s all a deception.”~ Ajahn Chah
Source: Anger | Great Middle Way
Jan 10, 2019
What is anger? It is a vindictive attitude towards sentient beings, towards frustration, and towards that which gives rise to frustration.
Its function is to serve as a basis for faultfinding and for never attaining even a moment of happiness.
Oct 4, 2018
When angry, we do not know what is good for us;
when angry, we do not see the Dharma.
When anger overcomes us,
we dwell in blind darkness.
—Buddha Shakyamuni, Gandhari Dharmapada
My father is wisdom and my mother is voidness.
My country is the country of Dharma.
I am of no caste and no creed.
I am sustained by perplexity;
And I am here to destroy lust, anger and sloth.
Just Dharma Quotes
July 16, 2018
Although you may spend your life killing,
you will not exhaust all your foes.
But if you quell your own anger,
your real enemy will be slain.
In reaction to a post on Reddit, here is a wise piece of advice on how to deal with these kinds of people (toxic):
“The deeper your present moment peace gets, the easier it’ll be to react non- passionately when confronted with hostility. As this gets better, you can begin to realize more deeply just how much someone has to be suffering internally in order to have such harsh reactions. With enough insight, you can develop your empathy and compassion based off this knowledge and these also help you remain even more peaceful in the present moment.
Continue the conversation. Eventually, with enough compassion and insight on your side, you can begin to extinguish the fires of hostility by extinguishing anger with patience and understanding… It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they continue treating you well. In helping them relieve these feelings, you not only help them but you also help yourself, since you no longer have to deal with them as they were.”