The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step

Anger

How a Zen Master recommends you respond to toxic people

In reaction to a post on Reddit, here is a wise piece of advice on how to deal with these kinds of people (toxic):
“The deeper your present moment peace gets, the easier it’ll be to react non- passionately when confronted with hostility. As this gets better, you can begin to realize more deeply just how much someone has to be suffering internally in order to have such harsh reactions. With enough insight, you can develop your empathy and compassion based off this knowledge and these also help you remain even more peaceful in the present moment.

Continue the conversation. Eventually, with enough compassion and insight on your side, you can begin to extinguish the fires of hostility by extinguishing anger with patience and understanding… It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they continue treating you well. In helping them relieve these feelings, you not only help them but you also help yourself, since you no longer have to deal with them as they were.”

source: thepowerofideas,

via: hackspirit

Advertisements

Anger

Image may contain: 1 person, text

White Clouds Sangha
There was a young boy who used to come to Plum Village every summer with his little sister. Every time he fell over and hurt himself, instead of coming to help him, his father would shout at him. The boy vowed that when he grew up, he would never be like his father. He vowed that if he ever had children and one of them fell down and hurt themself, he wouldn’t shout at them; he would try to help them. That was his firm determination. Then one summer when they were at Plum Village, the little boy’s younger sister was playing with another girl on a hammock, when the hammock broke. She fell and her knee was bleeding. The boy found himself becoming very angry, and he just wanted to yell: “It’s your own fault! How could you be so stupid?” Because he had been practicing simply noticing his feelings, without acting them out, he stopped himself from shouting. Instead, he turned around and practiced slow walking.
As he walked, he recognized that the energy of anger he was feeling had been transmitted to him by his father. If he didn’t practice breathing mindfully and sitting calmly and peacefully, he was going to become exactly like his father. In Sanskrit this is called samsara, the habitual continuation of negative or destructive behavior. The boy had a sudden urge to go home and invite his father to practice sitting meditation with him. When that good intention arose in him, all his anger and resentment toward his father began to dissolve. The boy was only twelve years old. For a person of any age, but particularly for a twelve-year-old, it is a remarkable achievement to have an insight that transforms our afflictions. If he is capable of it, we certainly are as well.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

If a human being never shows anger

Generally speaking, if a human being never shows anger, then I think something is wrong. He is not right in the brain

Dalai Lama

 


Rewiring our brains away from anger

Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calm and more loving.

Tiny Buddha


How to deal with toxic persons

Source: Wisdom Path: A Zen master reveals the giveaway signs of a toxic person and the most powerful way to deal with them

“The deeper your present moment peace gets, the easier it will be to react non-passionately when confronted with hostility. As this gets better, you can begin to realize more deeply just how much someone has to be suffering internally in order to have such harsh reactions. With enough insight, you can develop your empathy and compassion based off this knowledge and these also help you remain even more peaceful in the present moment.

Continue the conversation.  Eventually, with enough compassion and insight on your side, you can begin to extinguish the fires of hostility by extinguishing anger with patience and understanding.

It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they continue treating you well. In helping them relieve these feelings, you not only help them but you also help yourself, since you no longer have to deal with them as they were.”

source: thepowerofideas, via: hackspirit


A Zen master reveals the giveaway signs of a toxic person and the most powerful way to deal with them

Source: Wisdom Path: A Zen master reveals the giveaway signs of a toxic person and the most powerful way to deal with them

http://www.wisdom-path.net

We’ve all come across toxic people before. You know, the type of person that can be manipulative, judgmental and inconsiderate of anyone’s feelings.

It can hard to deal with these people, especially if you’re forced to every single day. That’s why I thought the advice below from a Zen master on Reddit was quite remarkable. 

But first, let’s define what a toxic person is so you know who you’re dealing with and then we’ll get to the Zen Master’s advice.

9 Traits of a Toxic Person

1) They talk more than they listen

Toxic people tend to have narcissistic tendencies and find it difficult to focus on anything but themselves. This goes against Buddhism where compassion and kindness for others (and yourself) is paramount.

2) They are never wrong

Everything they say is right and everything you say is wrong. They are unwilling to learn and will react harshly if you go against them.

3) Drama follows them

There’s always something wrong. If you offer advice, they’ll simply say it won’t work.

 4) They force relationships

It’s more about having relationships for the sake of other people seeing that they have relationships, rather than actually enjoying the connection for what it is.

Continue:

Wisdom Path: A Zen master reveals the giveaway signs of a toxic person and the most powerful way to deal with them


Anger and jealousy

Anger and jealousy are related to our sense of self-centredness and our disregard for others. Self-centredness easily gives rise to fear, which fosters irritation, which, when it blazes into anger, can provoke violence. The time has come to accept that if we’re talking about peace in the world, we have to consider peace within ourselves.

Dalai Lama