Self-deception means trying to re-create a past experience again and again, instead of actually having the experience in the present moment. In order to have the experience now, one would have to give up the evaluation of how wonderful the past was, because it is this memory which keeps it distant. If we had the experience continuously, it would seem quite ordinary, and it is this ordinariness that we cannot accept. We keep ourselves busy remembering the wonderful experience of openness we had in the past. This is self-deception’s game.
From Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögyam Trungpa, page 68